The Secret Kalkan Diary of Lizilu20...Syn, Sea and Sass!

[Lizilu20]

Thursday 10/08/17

Hello kankles, have you met your friends, the pimples?  Now I know I'm truly well established and my body is  in fine Kalkan mode.

Phew today is another hot one. Yesterday the heatwave seemed to arrrive and it's definitely more the weather we are used to in August. Thanks for all your lovely comments too and you all wishing for the sunshine has worked. 
 
Tuesday was spent with our friends from Fethiye and Bob and Jayne, up at their fantastic villa. Oh it was amazing, like a rock stars pad with views to die for. We all chipped in with food and booze and had a BBQ to rival cafe vita"s. We swam and laughed and drank and swam and laughed and drank...you get the gist  and posed for amazing pics of us all lined up at the edge of the infinity pool. We posted them on the enjoy Kalkan Facebook page, go check them out. What a wonderful time we had, there were 13 of us in total, our girls stayed at home being party poopers and some Turkish friends who own the Morina hotel in Olu Deniz arrived after their trip to Kas. We tried to convince them that Kalkan was as close to paradise as you could wish for but it didn't quite work.
I don't quite remember getting home but I think that Shirl and I were bundled into a taxi and I certainly knew about it yesterday when I woke up.

Yesterday had to be a relaxing day as it was an effort to put one foot in front of another so the day was spent lounging around at the Asfiya, Synning and sunning ourselves. Cocktail of the day was sex on the beach and very good it was too. Bit of a dicey moment when Shirl helpfully grabbed my cocktail as I was struggling to get of the bar stool, short legs being the problem, not drunken ones I hasten to add, but all was well and she balanced it beautifully for me on the rail to take a photo.

As we all relaxed on our loungers we heard an almighty crash as a tray groaning with glasses fell to the floor, we automatically glanced in Shirl's direction but she was snoozing and a sheepish looking waiter was the culprit.

Last night we had all perked up a bit and headed off into the old town for more Syns. We strategically placed the boys in merkez while Shirl and me and the girls slipped into BSG. We skipped back out after drinking wine with 2 purchases, a Prada and Chloe will now grace our arms. Actually, they weren't technically purchases as we only paid for one. Can go believe that they let us take a bag away without paying? Neither can I but they did saying,it's not England here, just pop in with the money when you are next passing by. How trusting is that. We could have been popping on the next plane for all they knew.

We dined at Smyrna last night and it was lovely and so reasonable too. One of the cheapest meals so far and definitely worth trying if you've not been before.

So today is market day and I can't believe that we've been here a week already. The days are slipping through my fingers like a phone in Shirl's hand...

[Babs]

Lots of "synning" going on there lizilu......but it doesn't matter, you're on holiday!  little harsh to blame Shirl every time you hear the sound of breaking glass.....cue for a song? I'm sure there's one for "slipping through her fingers" too.......it'll come to me!

[Bob & Jayne]

Lizilu, you tell it so well! great blog, love it! 

And Babs, I am really not that clumsy I promise!!! .........   

[kalkan4eva]

Oh no...spoke too soon about Kalkankles...get yourself some of that there chemical intervention. Actually, you're not in full Kalkan mode until your hair frizzes up...so fingers crossed that's behaving itself in the heat

Sounds like you are having a great holiday...cant wait to hear more about it!

[Mrs M!]

Loving your reports as always Thank you x

[Lizilu20]

Saturday 12/08/17

    Bye bye babies 

We've just waved our 2 daughters off in the taxi to the airport and I'm bereft and full of anxiety for them and their journey home. They will be fine I'm sure but hate it when we are not all together. I need to take my mind off my girls so hopefully this will do the trick.

Thursday was a doing day, first up to our friends at the Yelken who were kind enough to let us stash some booze there in April. The sun was beating down and it was a sticky walk up there so on the way back we decided to call in at the cosmopolitan bar for liquid refreshment. If you haven't already been then go, it's a real gem. The tables are made from old doors and the old boat that used to be randomly placed at the side of the road is now a feature and has been turned into a seating area. Also great views and friendly staff.

From there we trudged home to drop off the booze (a bit more spring in my step after a large glass of wine) then off for an obligatory sweaty stroll round a very quiet market. 4 pashminas, peppercorns and a big bag of nobby's nuts later and time for more liquid refreshment, this time at the junction, the new eco bar/bistro that used to be cafe Ev. It's a fabulously quirky place with such attention to detail and everything in there appears to be recycled down to denim jeans used as seat covers and eco straws that appeared to be made from bamboo, instead of plastic ones. Again a must visit place. Another sweaty trudge home and I virtually threw myself in the pool as we entered the apartment gate. I swear I've never looked so longingly at a swimming pool before and I swear walter hammock  was winking at me.    I fell into him and his loving embrace faster than a speeding bullet.

We spent a lovely afternoon lazing around the pool then off to Kaya for 80's/90's night.
Oh what a hoot we had. The food was amazing, buffet meze which was enormous then choice of a main meal and Turkish rice pud for deserts. 55TL per head. Then came the best bit, the dancing. Tables were ceremoniously shifted, the music cranked up and Shirl and I threw ourselves onto that dance floor like we belonged there and boogied all night to the disgust of our girls and our two other halves, who point blankly refused to join us as we threw lots of shapes and even invented a few more 

Well I woke up yesterday as stiff  as a board, all that get down and boogie woogie woogie that felt so good the night before certainly made an impact and I was walking like the tin man until my joints finally limbered up somewhere around lunch time.
Where to go for our girls last day for some sun and relaxation? Palm beach club and what a lovely day we had there. Well all apart from our two elder daughters who had had enough after a couple of hours and decided to catch the water taxi back home.

It was the girls choice to choose where to eat last night so off to Gourmet it was...

I've just heard from them and they've arrived at Dalaman safely so that's a relief. The check in isn't open yet unfortunately but hopefully it will open soon and they have speedy boarding so they should sail through easily. We booked the airport taxi to get them there 3 hours before as we read on one of the social media sites that there is added security and more time is needed. We also had an email from easy jet to say that all electricals can definitely be carried as hand luggage so the restrictions have been lifted by easy jet. Now the anxiety  until they are safely on the plane and then again that they've landed safely will be gnawing away at me.
It's going to be a long day 

[Bob & Jayne]

Ab Fab blog Lizzie, and hope we managed to take your minds off your worry yesterday with our fun day!

[keith]

Another excellent blog Lizzie........you're really getting me in the right frame of mind for our next visit in 4 weeks time! I'm not sure that we will enjoy the level of activity that you seem to be able to cram in but I know that we'll have a truly relaxing time, drink copious amounts of alcohol and enjoy the succulent food.

[Lizilu20]

Monday 14/08/17

Well the days are flying by and we are now into our final week.  Still so much to see and do and we have every day planned now to try and cram as much in as we can.

Friday was our 2 elder girls last night and the pull of chocolate avalanches drew us to Gourmet restaurant. I had my usual "who let the chickens out" with extra sauce as I am greedy and Synning well this holiday. OH and one daughter had lamb shank and 2 other daughters had tikka masala. 3 avalanches, 1 cheesecake and a baklava later we were replete and OH's wallet was empty  By far the most expensive meal of the holiday at just under 600TL but well worth every penny. Added bonus, no botle of red wine spilled over me this year but i made sure that I was not wearing white just in case. 
We finished the night off in style at a sadly empty Black and Gold and enjoyed delicious cocktails where  I synned good and proper and also had a lit cigarello thrust into my hand as part of the pomp and ceremony. Well I couldn't resist taking a sneaky puff or 2 before OH whipped it out of my hand and stubbed it out fearful I'd be back on 20 a day before we knew it 

So Saturday, the dreaded day and as you know it was awful for me and OH, we waved our girls off and I broke down. Oh it was fab all being together again despite the bickering and one-upmanship that seems par for the course with sibling rivalry and I know that Batgirl is smug now she has the cave to herself again 
Sassy Shirl looked after me well and we had a fab day around the pool and then up to cafe vita following a mini bar crawl up the hill.
The relief at knowing our girls had landed safely and were back at home safely was tremendous and I finally managed to let my hair down in true lizilu style and the night ended as it should with Shirl and I draped around captain Jack whose new residence at Johhny's sems to be quite fitting really. OH was a little concerned about the the health and safety aspect as we wobbled on the platform with every mouthful we drank but hey ho, we are still here to tell the tale. 

Sunday was semi lazy, semi doing, OH and I in search of chicken nuggets for Batgirl. Shirl and Bob as you know have had a new BBQ delivered which has been frustrating  for poor Bob as the wrong bits were delivered
, but he brilliantly fettled it and we were to christen it later for an evening of feasting following a day of fun in the sun. Batgirl had spoken longingly of craving chicken nuggets, chips and beans so we were determined to find some for her and we did, in Migros. So after a trudge up there picking up BBQ bits and bats, we enjoyed  a day at the beach then back for the feast.
Oh my word, Bob did us proud! What a feast we had. Stuffed to the gills we broke the pool rules again ( no heavy petting took place i can assure you) but made sure that Shirl' s phone was well and truly out of reach.  we then spent an evening under the stars on the roof terrace, trying to catch the meteor shower but not sure if we were a day late? Whatever, it was a brilliant day and night and I don't want this to end...

[Babs]

I must remember not to read your posts in the office lizilu!  enjoy the rest of your time in paradise and make sure you get up to lots of mischief!

[kalkan4eva]

Did you really buy "bats" for the BBQ...?

You are certainly packing in the activities this visit...love reading your reports, always make me smile

[Lizilu20]

Wednesday 16/08/17

What a fabulously lazy couple of days we've just had. Our first week consisted of lots of boat trips and partying with friends and this week we are trying to relax as much as possible before we have to contemplate work again.
The weather has changed for the better too. Not as muggy and clearer skies in the daytime and a lovely night time breeze. Just what the Dr ordered.

So, as Shirl recounted, on Monday we all stayed around the pool and finished the feast from the previous evening for brunch. We had marinated chicken thighs, Kofte, sausages, chicken sis, halloumi, salad, Bobs famous homemade delicious hummus and cacik, accompanied by fresh crusty bread and a bottle of vino. Oh it was amazing.
I had to laugh as I overheard Shirl and my OH having a serious discussion about which are the most tasty, chupa chups jelly lollies or droppy's, or metro bar's v wanted! 
 

We had a lovely evening down in town as you've already heard. Twice we have been to Fener of an evening now and both time had good food, nice and informal and great if you want to go out but not spend a fortune and enjoy casual dining.
Rumour had it that Boris Johnson was in town but he certainly wasn't in Fener cafe.  We did think we may have spotted Myleene Klass the other night but we'd had a few by then and our eyes were a bit blurry. 

Yesterday was another lazy pool day which we had to ourselves as Bob and Shirl sailed the high seas to Kekova and this seems the right time to tell you about my reaquaintance  with Roger ring. Roger has been in our possession for some years now, living with Walter in Shirl's lock up. For many years I have envied how our girls seem to be able to jump upon him with ease and spend lazy afternoons floating and spinning along, sometimes frenziedly bashing from one pool side to another  and other times elegantly perched up in him with a good book, bobbing along. I gave up trying to achieve this many years ago as try as I might, my lard arse was just to heavy a load and he chucked me off in protest like a bucking Bronco. So then we bought Walter and I just about managed to slither (heave) myslef on to him as gracefully as possible. I'm now 4 stones lighter so yesterday, while the coast was clear,  was my mission to mount Roger and I bloody did it. I did slather my bod with factor 10 oil first to see if this would help and it seemed to do the trick. Oh my word I was in my element! The only trouble was I was afraid to jump off in case it was a fluke, so I spinned and bobbed away until my skin started to sizzle. What a fine sense of achievement for me and I can't wait to tell my slimming world friends when I get home.
We had spicy chicken tenders dipped in mayo for lunch, with cheese, bread and olives and I still managed to repeat all the above. What a fab day.

Last night we dined at Doy Doy and i had a beautiful summer steak that I'd  been craving all year. OH had chicken parmesan and Batgirl had penne in a juicy tomato sauce. We shared at chicken satay for starters and shared at the most delicious Bailey's chocolate torte and vanilla ice cream for dessert. I had a wine and an aperol spritz, OH had a glass of red, gin and sprite,  Batgirl 2 sprites. The bill was £68.00. I know this as it was converted on the receipt. Such good  value for such delicious food.

Well the washer has just finished it's load and the bacon is sizzling in the pan so it must be time to wrap this up and get back to another lazy day in paradise.

[Bob & Jayne]

Well another fab blog Lizzie and well done with Roger  see you soon for another lazy sunshine day 

[Babs]

  you do make me laugh lizilu!
I once had a near miss in an infinity pool with a ring (unnamed) I was happily floating around dozing in the sun when I was rudely awakened by OH and friends as I almost bobbed  over the edge! 

[Lizilu20]

Saturday 19/08/17 

Our last day today 

Tomorrow we fly home after another amazing holiday and back to reality. The last 3 days seem to have gone by in a whirl...

Wednesday was Asfiya day and cocktail of the day was a mojito. It was much busier than usual which was nice to see for them. I can't recommend this hotel enough for a luxurious lazy day around the pool. I'm not sure how I would feel if I was a resident there but it's usually so quiet that there are more than enough beds to go around.
Wednesday night was Haybo' s birthday bash and a truly lovely night. Thank you once more for inviting us. So funny when the fire works and poppers died down and lights came up, to see Automan and Bob looking like they'd been in a snowstorm. What the hell was that stuff? I tasted it and it was a bit sour, possibly shaving foam?
Our meal was delicious and of course the company was fantastic. Alternatif really went out of their way and Haybo was definitely the Belle of the Ball that night.

Thursday we spent at the beach with Bob and Jayne, Batgirl stayed in the apartment,only venturing from her cave to watch another episode of "Santa Diabla' some shite South american soap opera that she's become addicted to while here this year. It's dubbed very dodgily and is about a woman adorned with an eye patch, seeking revenge for the murder of her husband. Dark desires and lots of unrestrained passion and by all accounts unmissable viewing  she then follows this by watching the Saudi news. Apparently the Dubai channel is riveting. Enough to stop you from having fun in the sun anyway! 

The beach was lovely and a beautiful warm breeze was blowing. Aperfect beach day. We spent a very pleasant day there, dining at The beach cafe for lunch and struggling in and out of the sea. We pitched up by the cafe and the beach looked like it would easy to navigate our entrance to the sea as it wasn't quite so steeply shelving, however appearances can be deceptive as there are lots of rocks just as the sea breaks onto the shore and there really was no elegant way either in or out. 
By 4pm, happy hour was calling, so while Bob and Shirl were scoffing ice creams, we were knocking back G and T's at Aubergine. Buy 2 get one free. One each and one to fight over. OH won as he drank his first. Never give a man a straw 

Thursday evening we enjoyed cocktails at Marleys and a vino at Merkez while Shirl sorted her swanky new  handbag out. It's beautiful lucky lady. 
We then dined at Escudo. I've been wanting to go back there for a while as the last time we went, a few years ago, I was poorly and didn't really appreciate it. I do remember having the Persian lamb but only a mouth full and I remember it being delicious. I can confirm it is still delicious and we all enjoyed our meals. We didn't have a late night as we were on yildiz 3 the following morning and we needed to be fresh for another day on the high seas.

Which brings us nicely up to date.

Yesterday we had a fantastic day. I know every day here is fantastic but a day on one of the yildiz boats makes it super fantastic. That family are wonderful and will go out of their way to ensure you have the best boat trip experience. Every stop is explained and you are told how long you will be there for. Adem was very conscious of our fair skinned Batgirl (never sees the light of day) and did his best to ensure she had shade, while she rebelled and insisted on sun, silly girl, as she now has a very pink cast to her Celtic beauty.
We spent a wonderful day bobbing along on the ocean wave lazing and gorging on succulent tradition al Turkish delicacies.
It didn't go without mishap though as you would expect from us 
Adem sorted out a fishing line and reel for Bob, who caught a whopper! Unfortunately he broke the wire in the process but this was no problem.
While Bob was breaking wires, I managed to break glass! But I blame Shirl as she was sitting in front of it 
Really it was no-ones fault as a freak gust of wind flung my wine glass off the table and on to the deck. Smashing into smithereens, tiny splinters just ripe for causing havoc with bare feet. Again, no problem as Adem gallantly hosed down the deck.
Shirl managed to fall off one of the foam lounger chair at the ships bow to much hilarity and she'd only had one (unbroken) glass by this time, and I somehow managed to lose my bikini bottoms while being washed up to shore like a beached whale at the mudbath!    Thankfully I managed to preserve my dignity and at least avoided being bitten by rocks this time 

After such an exhausting day we all rolled home to our respective apartments, too tired and stuffed to even contemplate going out.
Shirl and Bob barbecued while we ordered in passport pizza and ate it while sipping wine and listening to the dulcet tones of Shirl on the balcony below, crooning to Forever FM, her voice wafting up on the gentle breeze.
Perfect end to another perfect day.

Today will consist of packing  and trying to have the best last day we can. I'll fill in the gaps as soon as possible and gule gule until then. 

[Skunk]

Fab post Lizilu - I laughed out loud at some of your escapades. Sounds like you've all had a great time. Being resident at Asfiya is lovely but you get the best of it by spending the day at the pool. Well must pass this to Nick to read. Hope your last night is special and have a safe journey home.  Lotsa love Skunk. Xxx

[Mrs M!]

Loving your reports - getting us nicely into our countdown, 3 weeks tomorrow!

[Irene]

Sorry for the delay - have loved your reports - transported us over the oceans to Kalkan - Fab!  Hope to meet up again next year - safe journey home x

[Lizilu20]

Tuesday 22/08/17

Back at work 

Sorry for the delay in posting our final day in Paradise but boring mundane duties got in the way, i.e. unpacking and then work until 8pm yesterday. Oh why do holidays fly by so quickly but work days draaaaag! 

So, Saturday, the dreaded last day. I managed to blog and pack the majority of the cases by 11am while OH did a few chores such as emptying the bins and off to the bank. I bit like home really  . We decided as the day was quite overcast and muggy, rather than just plonking on a lounger, we would have lunch out and a final wander through town. We ambled through town, settled ourselves down at Cafe Leon and enjoyed a delicious lunch. I had a chicken and avacado salad, OH had a cheese toastie and Batgirl had a warm chicken sandwich and chips. 3 Tuborgs and a coke later, we decided to continue on with our stroll and walked along the road by sunset and Kaptans and up weaving through the old town until we came to Botanik and onto 'Greek Street'. Some of those old town houses have been so beautifully renovated and the views of the harbour and sea in between the gaps were stunning. Another part of town we have discovered for the first time and we would love to stay around that area someday.

We arrived home around the same time as Bob and Jayne, watches synchronised for an afternoon at Patara. The sun was trying to emerge but I'm glad it didn't make too many appearances as we were all burned to a crisp from the previous days boat trip and my forehead was like a belisha beacon. Incidentally, as I type this, bits of it are flaking off onto my keyboard, yuk!!! Good job I'm armed with disinfectant wipes for a keyboard power clean later.
The sand was as hot as the hobs in Hell and we hopped over it as though treading on hot coals until we found our little spot and threw our towels down in relief. We glanced around and noticed that Patara was like a burial chamber. Lots of Turks, men and women, some buried up to their necks in sand, others just their legs, in strange contortions as though there was some weird ritual going on. We actually asked one couple why this was and they mumbled something about it being good for the body. It looked really strange though and we were frightened of treading on them by mistake. 
The sea was like a warm bath but the waves were fierce and I did at one point do my usual trick of becoming parted from my bikini bottoms while exiting however I had one hand clamped to them so luckily only managed to reveal a cheeky glimpse, enough though to have the people behind me chuckling. I think I've lost all sense of dignity now! 
Boy it was hot but how we love Patara. We managed a good couple of hours before conceding defeat and back home for some pool time fun in the hazy sun. The Prosecco flowed and I did a last tour of the pool with Roger and Walter. The Prosecco was drained and out came the Majestic, our tongues flowed like the wine and we had such a laugh. All too soon it was time to deflate the boys (the inflatables) and say goodbye as back they went into winter storage. 

Showered and out, we arranged to meet Shirl and Bob in Kaya for an aperitif and to say goodbye to the Kaya boys. While we were waiting, out of the corner of our eye we saw a huge white motorbike/trike flash past and do a tour of the roundabout, with a pillion passenger who looked remarkably like Shirl, hair flowing in the breeze and two brown shapely thighs straddled astride. No!! it can't be, but it was. Oh how we laughed as she staggered in, full of excitement and exhilaration. You rock Shirl!

 Following a quick annual ring clean at Infinity we made our way to Agora for dinner. What a delicious meal we had too. We spotted Haybo and crew enjoying cocktails at Black and Gold and we frantically waved and blew kisses over the rooftops. We all had steaks apart from our daughter (I think) and they were all equally melt in the mouth perfectly cooked, mine with lashings of roquefort cheese. Full as ticks we waddled down to Yakamoz - wot - no Aklan!? We were so looking forward to hearing him sing too. Shirl collared Jimmy for an interrogation as to why he wasn't there. I almost felt sorry for the poor bloke as she grilled him and he apologised profusely mumbling something about the weather and his mother as he backed away! 
How the hell did we manage that nightcap on Bob and Jayne's balcony as we were well oiled by this stage but like the Sassy chicks we are, we did it and I even managed to peg the washing out too. All too soon it was time to retire and we all slept like logs. What a brilliant end to another fantastic holiday.

We had a smooth transfer from Alper at Ege rentals and a smooth plane journey back to Manchester too. We did chuckle as we were descending remembering a tip from Shirl. OH was sucking on a Haribo as the altitude dropped, Shirl's tip? "Bugger the sweets, I have a bottle of wine".  Oh how we are missing our best friends and the synning, sea and sass that encopasses our friendship. It's slimming world tonight and I think I just may win the prize for the most weight one can gain in a fortnight's holiday, my weighing scales groaning as I jumped on yesterday and with horror saw the dreaded numbers settle, a stone higher than I was at the start of our holiday. 

So all that remains is to thank you all for reading and I very much appreciate all your comments too. I hope the coming autumn and winter months pass by quickly and then we can do it all over again. 

Meanwhile I'm eagerly awaiting updates from you lucky lot still there and those of you about to head off and of course from Shirley Valentine over in Greece...

[Bob & Jayne]

Lizzie your finale has just made me laugh out loud and brought tears to my eyes! What a fantastic time we all had. Won't be long get those flights booked for next year and that count down app on your phone! Don't worry about the weight gain it will soon be off and just think of the enjoyment you had!?  x x